Over the past week I have been completely and utterly amazed at the response to my post about my anxiety. I didn't feel brave in what I was saying, because it is something I have come to terms with and faced with friends. But I am so overwhelmed by the contact I have had from people I am truly humbled.
But as with pride, there is a fall.
Last week I properly fell off my anxiety horse. Things in my life haven't been smooth running over the past 6 months. My work life is increasingly pressured as every day comes, and I am coming to the reality that I need to find something else to do. We have half the number of staff we need and we are twice as busy as we should be. I feel thoroughly ashamed that I am the first person to crack, as I know I am experienced, but with my past I suppose it is to be expected.
Additionally to this my husband hasn't seen his children for the past 5 months. I don't have children of my own, so they have been my surrogates for the past 7 years. We both miss them more than anyone can imagine, but the situation is out of our hands. I feel so raw and emotional about it, I cannot imagine what it is like for him. I empathise with any parent in this situation, its heartbreaking and even as a step-parent it never really leaves your thoughts.
I am glad to say that I have started to get both of these things into perspective. I am living by the motto that I want the grace to accept the things I cannot change, and the courage to challenge the things I can.
So today's manicure is a showcase for Orly 'Be Brave' The name of the polished seemed appropriate, also, I love how bright and sparkly it is. Almost like electric is running through the polish, fireworks on your nails. It would have been easy to put it over a pink or black base, but I wanted it to stand on its own, so employed a lovely nude, Sally Hansen Quick Sand.
I hope you like it. I don't believe in religion, its not my type of thing. But spare a thought for me over the next few days, and anyone else going thought something similar.