Over the past week I have been completely and utterly amazed at the response to my post about my anxiety. I didn't feel brave in what I was saying, because it is something I have come to terms with and faced with friends. But I am so overwhelmed by the contact I have had from people I am truly humbled.
But as with pride, there is a fall.
Last week I properly fell off my anxiety horse. Things in my life haven't been smooth running over the past 6 months. My work life is increasingly pressured as every day comes, and I am coming to the reality that I need to find something else to do. We have half the number of staff we need and we are twice as busy as we should be. I feel thoroughly ashamed that I am the first person to crack, as I know I am experienced, but with my past I suppose it is to be expected.
Additionally to this my husband hasn't seen his children for the past 5 months. I don't have children of my own, so they have been my surrogates for the past 7 years. We both miss them more than anyone can imagine, but the situation is out of our hands. I feel so raw and emotional about it, I cannot imagine what it is like for him. I empathise with any parent in this situation, its heartbreaking and even as a step-parent it never really leaves your thoughts.
I am glad to say that I have started to get both of these things into perspective. I am living by the motto that I want the grace to accept the things I cannot change, and the courage to challenge the things I can.
So today's manicure is a showcase for Orly 'Be Brave' The name of the polished seemed appropriate, also, I love how bright and sparkly it is. Almost like electric is running through the polish, fireworks on your nails. It would have been easy to put it over a pink or black base, but I wanted it to stand on its own, so employed a lovely nude, Sally Hansen Quick Sand.
I hope you like it. I don't believe in religion, its not my type of thing. But spare a thought for me over the next few days, and anyone else going thought something similar.
Your so brave, I couldn't even keep the message I wrote on your other post as I felt scared someone would judge me and not see me as the happy bubbly person I want to be. I know it's a silly thing, but I honestly think people who share our problems are the bravest of them all, We feel pain, we see danger and we experience things in alot more depth then other people and when were at our lowest no matter how long it takes us we always get back up on our horses. I'm sorry to hear about your stepchildren and I will make a wish for you that everything works out amazing. xx
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. Fingers crossed everything gets better soon. LOVE the Orly!
ReplyDeleteYou have fallen off the horse but you WILL get back on. Don't feel bad and don't put yourself down. Anyone would struggle to cope with 2 very difficult situations going on at the same time... you are human that's all.I hope both situations resolve themselves but until they do please don't feel bad cos I think you are awesome xoxo
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